Crack just ain’t what it used to be. The epidemic of high-octane cocaine, which ravaged many an American community in the 1980s and 1990s, has burned itself out to some degree.
Meanwhile, here in the States the powdered stuff is so passé that Mexican cartels have teamed up with the Italian mafia to expand market share in Europe, where a kilo costs 2-3x what it does in the U.S. Do a line? Why don’t you watch a Cosby Show re-run while you’re at it.
For a while, meth seemed to be replicating the crack craze, particularly in gay and rural communities. Fortunately, most people are now hip to just how goddamn awful snorting a fertilizer-based drug really is.
And then there’s heroin. Oh, heroin. Most graceful of all lethal narcotics. We’ll always have you and your small cadre of junkies who can’t get off that horse. Luckily, however, a fear of needles keeps your numbers small and dedicated.
But there’s always marijuana.
Of course cannabis is in nowhere near the same league as these other drugs. Meth will destroy your brain rather quickly. Crack will drive you to crime and prostitution in no time. Heroin will actually kill your ass dead.
Weed? It might eventually turn you into an annoying, coughing hippie who keeps repeating the same boring stories over and over. But really. Compared to actual hard drugs? Any sober analysis has to put it in the same camp as alcohol, which is actually worse than pot in many ways.
Yet, here we are in 2013, and instead of reducing their emphasis on marijuana, many law enforcement agencies are actually increasing it.
The ACLU claims that half of all drug arrests are for marijuana. And 9/10 of those are not nabbing sellers or traffickers. Rather, 90% of pot busts are for mere possession.
Regular schmucks getting hauled in and ground up by the rapacious legal system.
That’s right. About 40% of all drug arrests today are for everyday people who get caught holding pot.
Why? Because as the other drug epidemics decline, federal drug enforcement money just keeps flowing. Predictably, nobody wants to turn that money away. And since it’s specifically earmarked for drug enforcement, it can’t be used for something more useful, like investigating and prosecuting murder and rape.
Did you know there are a quarter of a million reported sexual assaults in this country every year? And that’s not counting the many unreported assaults. The U.S. Justice Department estimates that there are actually about 300,000 rapes every year.
But we’re spending billions of dollars going after people who smoke weed. And mostly the black ones.
African Americans consume marijuana at the same rate as white Americans. However, for some reason they’re four times as likely to be arrested for possession. And that trend holds across the nation, whether in rural, suburban, or urban areas.
Go figure.
So just add me to the list of totally rational and reasonable people who think it’s time to, if not end the war on drugs altogether, then at least seriously reconfigure it so that the focus is on evil shit like meth and crack instead of comparatively innocuous drugs like marijuana and alcohol.
I had a youthful dalliance with the sweet leaf during my early twenties. But after a couple of years, the good times went south, and alcohol has long since been my primary toxic indulgence. If I smoke once a year, it’s a lot.
But in solidarity with those who seek the decriminalization, and maybe even the legalization of marijuana, I offer the following list.
10 Things That Even I Enjoy* Doing While High (In no particular order because ranked lists are like so fascist, man)
-Watch The Big Lebowski. That shit Walter pulled was totally fucked up, but I think Smokey might’ve actually been over the line.
-Eat nachos. You gonna eat those nachos?
-Listen to Jimi Hendrix’s Electric Lady Land. Though maybe skip Noel Redding’s “Little Miss Strange.” Mitch Mitchell’s drum intro is rad, but after that, what a come-down.
-Stare at clouds. Holy shit, that one looks like a chia-pet.
-Self-loath. God, I am such an asshole. Why did I say that? That was so stupid! Now everyone knows how stupid I am.
-Not think about clowns. I am not thinking about clowns. I am not thinking about clowns. I am not thinking about clowns.
-Clean the house. Well, not the whole house. This room’s plenty for now. It’s kind of a mess. And I don’t really mean “clean.” Just like, pick up a little, maybe sweep and open a window.
-Mutter. Mumble. Quiet . . . Halting . . . Speech.
-Listen to Jimi Hendrix’s Electric Lady Land. Oh shit, I already did that. Never mind.
*Note: Most of these things I also enjoy doing while not being high. Sometimes I enjoy them even more while not being high. Well, not the cleaning. But the important thing to remember here is, I’m not pro-smoking pot. I’m anti-stupid government repression.