History

The Decline of the American Empire: A Premature Postpartum in Four Parts

What if the United States has already passed its peak and begun a slow decline?

It’s impossible to know the future, but thoughtful speculation can enlighten how we understand the present. In that spirit, if the United States has turned a corner, I offer these four possible factors to explain its impending imperial decline.

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Never on a Saturday

Originally created by the Second Continental Congress in 1775, almost a year to the day before the signing of the Declaration of Independence, the new United States Post Office was deemed so important to the fledgling nation that none other than Benjamin Franklin was appointed the first Post Master General. When the Constitution re-designed the national government in 1789, one of the first orders of business was empowering Congress to establish a new federal post office (Article I, Section 8, Clause 7). The Post Office was the preeminent government service and the nation’s communications infrastructure.  Timely delivery of mails was vital to commerce and enabled national expansion.  And in an era of smaller government, the Post Office accounted for upwards of half of all federal employees during parts of the 19th century. But beyond its economic importance, the United States Post Office has also played a role in the nation’s cultural life.  In many small towns throughout rural America, it was not uncommon once upon a time for the only structures on many a Main Street to be the local church and the local post office.  No wonder then that American culture abounds with references to the post office, ranging from the trope of carriers being plagued by overprotective dogs, to the office’s unofficial but iconic pledge that: Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds. This phrase, engraved at the James A. Farley Post Office building at 8th Avenue and 33rd Street in New York City, is a translation of Herodotus describing the Persian postal carriers from 2,500 years ago.

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Facing Down Christmas

I have very fond memories from the 1990s of listening to a friend’s Gujarati Indian immigrant family butcher Christmas carols. It was an annual Christmas Eve tradition for these religious Hindus.  Each year, with women on one side of the room and men on the other, the genders separated by the large, decorated tree, they joyously worked their way through about a half-dozen classics.  Sometimes they sang in unison, and sometimes they traded parts while they consulted xeroxed lyric sheets.  When it came to “Deck the Halls,” everyone always got a chuckle out of the men warbling “Fa la la la, La la la la!” For me, an 20-something atheist half-Jew, it was a liberating experience. If you have overwrought memories of and expectations for Christmas, it can be quite stressful.  If you’ve become jaded about the holiday’s commercialism and relentlessness, it can be incessantly annoying.  But if you’re Jewish, it can raise issues of inadequacy. Christmas just seems like so much fun.  For starters, there’s the Christmas tree, that coniferous shrine of positive reciprocity, which is certainly one of the coolest things in and of itself in the eyes of a child.  And the litter of gifts it bears?  For a pre-pubescent, the orgy of Christmas gifts is about as close as you get to sex. But it wasn’t just tinsel and ribbons I envied.  The seasonal kindness and fraternity that accompanies Christmas also made me jealous. Goddamn if those Gentiles don’t seem like they’re having the time of their lives during the Christmas season.  All of a sudden everyone is in such a good mood, doing nice things for each other, extending holiday greetings, and sharing moments of real, heart-felt sincerity.  Christians, even relative strangers, have a way of looking in each other’s eyes during the Christmas season and saying just the nicest things in the world and seeming to really, really mean them.

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