The Sporting Life:
The Public Professor’s
Saturday Sports Column
Las Vegas, Nevada— I’m on the road this week, indulging my degeneracy in Lost Wages, with a quick side trip to LA so as to learn a bunch of computer stuff from Rae, my editor/layout designer extraordinaire, before the day comes when I must eventually set her free. So today’s Sporting Life column is a collection of thoughts from the road.
Monday— Dollar Bill Ordine, a former sports writer for The Baltimore Sun and currently doing a return gig at The Philadelphia Inquirer,is my primary runnin’ partner for the Vegas end of this trip. He knows the town much better than I do as he’s out here a few times a year, regularly covers the World Series of Poker, and we’re crashing at his 
timeshare. After picking me up at the airport and grabbing dinner at The Bootlegger, which featured some good singing and a fantastic backup band, he drove me over to M, the ill-fated new casino built by the Marnell family on the far south end. They spent over a billion dollars, opened it just as the national and local economies went belly-up, and were forced into bankruptcy within a few months. A Pennsylvania racing and casino syndicate got it at auction for a song. The places is fabulous. Bill describes it as a boutique casino; with only 300 rooms, it caters to the local well-to-dos in nearby Henderson. So much for that. But here’s hoping the place makes it. It’s simply gorgeous. I can’t think of a nicer place in Vegas to throw away my money (PS I’m getting nothing for this plug).
Tuesday— In LA for about 24 hours. Left my hoodie on a seat at McCarran, goddamn it. Was a damn good hoodie. Not the kind of crap Belichick wears. Still reveling in his defeat, by the way. Couldn’t happen to a nicer grump. Had to wear a hip denim jacket that Rae gave me, but I only needed it after the sun went down. It was in the 70s. We 
saw Patton Oswalt give a reading and take questions at a bookstore, there to promote his new page-turner. Patty (I’ve never said two words to the man, but I’m taking that liberty) claims not to know much about sports, to the surprise of many who saw his fabulous turn in Big Fan. He did talk about playing D&D again in his late 30s, having a blast as a series of drunken Dwarves, and then having the game fall apart when a couple of them had kids. He also got into a conversation with some people who claimed D&D is currently very popular among porn actors.
Wednesday— Grinding out the computer stuff so that you, my beloved readers, will get only the best from me. You bastards.
Thursday— Back in Vegas and found some nice prop bets. The over/under for sacks in the Pitt/NYJ game is only 5, if you can believe it. I took the over. Seems to me Roethlisberger, especially on a bad foot and with a ravaged O-line, is good for 3-4 by his lonesome. And of course the Steelers will get to Sanchez a few times. Took that one big. I took no one to score in the last 2 minutes of the first half of the GB-Chi game simply because it’s +200. Also like Cutler over 217 yards passing and Forteunder 70.5 rushing.
After laying the action at the king of all sports books in the Las Vegas Hilton, went over to the Sahara looking to mug some grandmas in poker. Ended up going toe-to-toe with a
bunch of grandpas. Was up, got pipped on the last card of my last hand, made $7.00 altogether. Maybe I’ll buy an overpriced beer or some cheap sunglasses.
Friday— I woke up today to find that the Buffalo Bills are considering hiring Dave Wannstedt as their linebackers coach and assistant head coach. God help America if they can Chan Gailey and make him the top man. I was just talking to a friend yesterday about how the NFL had thankfully seemed to have outgrown the era of recycling crappy head coaches like Dan Henning and The Swamp Fox Marion Campbell. Now this. It’s starting smell like the 1980s. I hated the god damned 1980s.
After dropping some friends with thinner constitutions off at the airport, I will be engaging in generic degeneracy today. More poker, hopefully some Omaha Hi-Lo, probably a 
brunch, and who knows, possibly a bout of confusion with some Filipino tranny.
Saturday— Will be watching the games tomorrow over at Caesar’s Palace. Go Steelers. And lots of sacks! Everybody sack somebody. Step up, make a show of support for the Public Professor, and sack a loved one today.
Here’s hoping I get out alive.
You can also find me every Saturday at Meet the Matts.