A select memorial
George Washington, Father of the nation: Had teeth extracted from one of his slaves and replanted in his own mouth.
Thomas Jefferson, Author of the Declaration of Independence: Owned over 600 slaves and sired children upon his teenage slave, Salley Hemmings. Their children grew up as his slaves, some of them working as domestic servants in his house. He was also an early architect of America’s ethnic cleansing of Native people from east of the Mississippi.
James Madison, Principle Author of the Constitution: Owned over 100 slaves and did not think free black people could integrate into American society. He promoted their repatriation to Africa, and once served as president of the American Colonization Society, which founded the African colony of Liberia as a destination for former slaves
James Monroe: Owned about 75 slaves and also championed repatriation to Africa. Liberia’s capital (Monrovia) is still named for him.
John Quincy Adams: Faced down accusations of wearing silk panties; was the first president to regularly wear long pants instead of knickers.
Andrew Jackson: The worst president of all time. He also owned nearly 200 slaves and killed a man for insulting his wife.
Martin Van Buren: From the North, (upstate New York), but still owned one slave, a man named Tom who ran away to Massachusetts in 1814. Van Buren innovated the worst of party politics and pioneered political corruption by founding the Albany Regency, a self-interested New York state political machine that helped entrench the spoils system of appointments in American politics. He also oversaw the ethnic cleansing of American Indians from east of the Mississippi River.
William Henry Harrison: Owned several slaves, and while Governor of Indiana Territory he unsuccessfully lobbied Congress to have slavery made legal there. He played a pivotal role in the ethnic cleansing of the Midwest.
John Tyler: Had fifteen children by two wives; as of last year, two of his grandsons were still alive. Tyler also owned about 70 slaves, and until his death advocated for the spread of slavery. He was a prominent delegate to the Virginia Peace Conference of 1861, which tried to prevent the Civil War. However, Tyler rejected its final document because he felt it did not sufficiently protect the rights of slave owners. He voted for secession and was eventually elected to the Confederate Congress.
James K. Polk: Owned about 25 slaves. Also lied to Congress and the American people to create a false pretext for declaring war against Mexico. After the U.S. victory, he oversaw the seizure of one-third of Meixco.
Zachary Taylor: Owned nearly 150 slaves and was the last man to own other human beings while serving as president.
Millard Filmore: Proclaimed slavery to be evil but insisted the federal government had no authority to end it. Rigorously enforced the Fugitive Slave Act (forcible return of runaway slaves to Southern owners), which divided the nation and helped bring about the demise of his own Whig Party, which rebuffed his effort to run for reelection. Filmore then helped found the American Party, commonly called the Know Nothings; their main plank was nativisit hostility towards immigrants. He later ran for president on their ticket and lost.
Franklin Pierce: An alcoholic who eventually died of cirrhosis of the liver.
James Buchanan: The only president to remain a lifelong batchelor. He heartily endorsed the Supreme Court decision in Dred Scott v. Sanford (1857), which declared that African Americans were not and never could be U.S. citizens.
Abraham Lincoln: Always prioritized preserving the Union over ending slavery.
Andrew Johnson: An alcoholic and former slave owner, he decried slavery on the grounds that it promoted miscegenation (interracial breeding). After the Civil War, he oversaw the return to power of former Confederates in Southern states, and approved of the Black Codes, state laws that greatly restricted the rights of former slaves. He vigorously opposed the 14th Amendment, which made the former slaves U.S. citizens.
Ulysses S. Grant, former supreme Union General during the Civil War: Oversaw half a dozen slaves owned by his wife, and personally owned a man named William Jones from 1857-59. Helped shift U.S. imperial policy against Native Americans from ethnic cleansing to cultural genocide.
Rutherford B. Hayes: Oversaw the final removal of Union troops from the South in 1877, which consecrated the return of white supremacist rule throughout the region. That same year, he used federal troops to suppress the Great Railroad Strike.
James Garfield: Grew up poor and fatherless in Ohio and was often bullied by other boys. Married a woman named Lucretia.
Chester A. Arthur: Known for being a dapper dresser.
Grover Cleveland: The only person to serve non-consecutive terms as president. While president, sailed to the waters off Long Island in a yacht and secretly had a cancerous growth cut from his upper jaw. This was kept from the public as pesky reporters were told he’d had two teeth removed. Currently has a New Jersey Turnpike named after him.
There is more. You know there is more. But I must stop here and runoff to buy a mattress.
